Waiting - Alone

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I woke up and walked up the stair of light.. or maybe I was asleep? I was walking till I got the feeling of being on a strange way with no beginning and no end and no defined direction .. was it vertical or horisontal? I couldn't know anymore .. it was in endless darkness but full of light .. it was the light.. swirling and waving..creating strange pictures that seemed to disappear each moment I caught a glance of them.. I kept walking.. soon I found I felt nothing under my feet, the moment it happened I started to fall immediately till I could catch with all my senses other swirling way of light and feel it and keep it in mind as solid ground.. I knew each time I thought it was intangible I could fall again.. At first I didn't think about anything, it was just too strange, and I became half anything and half nothing, I was all this strange cobweb of swirling light, I felt it and didn't feel anything at all at the same time.. what it was? Did I think of it?..I think not..I knew what it was.. I was at the center of the worlds and at the edge of the worlds and in the edge of nowhere or just anywhere at the same time.. I knew I couldn't explain it even to myself.. And far..or near..just around the corner of another swirling light there was the entrance (or exit?) to another world..one of many..not the first..not the last.. it was eternal space of worlds.. But I knew I couldn't escape into any of them.. I was alone.. all alone! that was the first thought that disturbed me.. and after it came to my mind I couldn't enjoy peaceful and exiting (at the same time) beauty of the place I came to so strangely.. I stopped walking, I started to fear.. it filled my mind and paralyzed my body.. I couldn't move or think or feel anything..except endless fear.. it seemed it filled all this eternity..filled with darkness.. or was it that darkness which kept the worlds of light inside?.. and what of them really existed and was the main? Eternal darkness or eternal light? Was that dark nothing real? or was it just emptiness in which all the Light existed? or maybe I became part of emptiness when felt myself part of nothing..felt alone.. if I'm alone I'm nothing.. if I'm part of Light I'm all the Universe of endless swirling worlds (in each of them there's another endless universe of planets and stars..and Light..endless Light....in endless Darkness?).. I was tired.. I felt sleepy.. I was exhausted with that dark feeling of loneliness and fear..fear of staying alone forever..most terrible of all fears.. And suddenly..I remembered..
'And suddenly warm wind from the moonset
brings me your voice
and I wake up from tears...
Who are you?..'
My own words..
And I heard his voice behind...
I woke up alone in my room..still waiting...

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Quite small and simple picture..

The main part - amazing photo by Atila from 'Lonely' series..

There's also colour version..I don't know which one is better..



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